Divorce Recovery

An annulment is a court ruling that a supposed marriage was never valid.

According to some divorce lawyers one of the most common grounds for annulment is fraud. For example, one person may have not disclosed to the other a prior divorce, a criminal record, or an unwillingness to have sexual intercourse. An annulment also may be granted may if one of the parties to the "marriage” was still married to someone else at the time of the marriage that is at issue. Other bases for annulments include marriage of an underage person, marriage to too close a blood relative, and marriage by a person under duress as the time of marriage.

http://www.PaulFDavis.com - life coach, int'l speaker and author of "Adultery 101" and "Breakthrough For A Broken Heart"

info @ PaulFDavis.com

407-967-7553

I found some very insightful statistics at: http://www.orlandodivorcelawyers.com/divorce-facts.cfm

60% of marriages in the United States end in divorce. 67 to 75% of all divorces are initiated by the female partner: 74 to 80% of unilateral (non-mutual) divorces. (Percentages vary only slightly from the US to Australia to Germany and from study to study.)

No gender difference in the number of divorce filings appears for grounds of violence (6% of filings), "exploitation" (one contributing more than receiving - 20%), or adultery. "The question of custody absolutely swamps all the other variables. Children are the most important asset in a marriage, and the partner who expects to get sole custody is by far the most likely to file for divorce." Women are much more willing to divorce because they rarely fear losing custody of the children. Usually it gives them control over them. "If you remove that distortion, it's apt to change the way men and women relate to each other and to their kids. Fathers are likely to spend more time with kids if they can expect to still see them if the marriage doesn't work out. Women will be more likely to see men as parenting partners, and less likely to use divorce as a power play."

U.S. states with high levels of joint custody (> 30% of divorces) have significantly lower divorce rates four years later. Their four-year decline in divorce rates is double that of states with medium levels of joint custody arrangements (10 - 30%), and over four times that of states having low levels of joint custody (< 10%).

If you and your spouse are not getting along very well at times, consider these facts for a moment:

• Half of marriages in the United States will end in divorce (1997).
• About 70% of marriages in Collin County and Dallas County end in divorce (1995)
• Divorce is higher when a marriage is preceded by a premarital pregnancy or out-of-wedlock birth
• Divorce goes down during economic hardship for a couple
• Couples who live together prior to marriage experience greater dissatisfaction afterwards
• Due to early divorce and the decreased likelihood today of staying married “for the sake of the children,” younger children are more and more likely to be affected.
• 50% of all children from divorced families are more likely to have difficulties
• Children may also be very damaged by their parent’s bad marriage; their school work may suffer, as well as self-esteem, increased anger, depression, and self-blame, conflicts with authority, and their own ability to have a good marriage (role modeling and family systems)
• About 38% of all couples divorce within four years of marriage; this probably represents for many a breakdown in the marriage and separation within the first two years.
• A Dallas divorce lawyer has said that five years after a divorce many clients have told him, “If I’d only known how hard divorce is, I would have tried harder the first time.”
• Divorce is likely to be followed by remarriage (5 of 6 men remarry within 1-3 years; 3 out of 4 divorced women remarry; women stay single 5 years or more before remarriage; many decide they won’t marry again), but unless the issues of the previous marriage are dealt with problems will continue.

Facts about Children of Divorce

Children with divorced parents are more likely to exhibit signs of early disengagement from school than children from intact families.

One possible reason for lower academic achievement is a diminution in income in the custodial parent's household. For example, income differences account for between 30 and 50 percent of the overall difference in high school graduation rates among children from two parent and single parent households.

Children who move frequently do not receive specialized educational services, nor do they receive the individual attention they may need from teachers in order to identify gaps in their knowledge.

The psychological effect of divorce on children fades within three years but academic performance continues to decline.

Children from divorced families have a high risk of becoming divorced.

http://www.PaulFDavis.com

info @ PaulFDavis.com - life coach, int'l speaker and author of "Breakthrough For A Broken Heart"

407-967-7553

 

No marriage is easy to do, nor is any divorce is easy to pursue.

 

Despite the difficulty in filing for divorce, Star Jones seems to have filed for divorce with a degree of dignity and grace.

 

As for her hubby Al Reynolds, I guess he knew what he was getting himself in to when he married a "bridezilla" - which comes with its own demands and expectations.

 

Paul F Davis - love coach and author of Breakthrough For A Broken Heart

 

www.PaulFDavis.com

 

Orlando, FL

 

Some questions recently discussed on Orpah & Friends by way of radio were worthy of my attention and answers here below. The Spitzer story didn't effect me as much because sadly this is what Americans have come to expect from its leaders - corruption, self-interest, and little commitment to justice.

What makes powerful, successful men want to cheat? Men cheat because of numerous factors. Men are wired to be hunters and fishermen. If a man is getting filet mignon at home, he doesn't go looking for burgers on the street. Sometimes wives neglect their husbands sexual needs when he is a high ranking official because they think for the sake of his own reputation he will never leave or cheat on them. However male hormones continue to drive them daily and bring out the animalistic tendencies within us all.  Men who are deprived at home, experiencing relational boredom, and excessive nagging sometimes cheat to add some adventure and excitment to their life. Will the Spitzer story make us take a new look at the dark side of prostitution? Probably not because prositition's dark side is already known. Spitzers fall from grace will however help humanity to look at their own darkside and fallible nature when left to themselves without a moral compass, accountability, consequences for immorality. Should Silda Wall Spitzer "stand by her man," or should she leave him? Silda Spitzer should do whatever she wants.  She has moral and Biblical grounds to leave Elliot, but because of her children may choose not to. Nevertheless marriages can be restored with contrition, repentance, reonciliation, and restoration.  Let her decide. How did men react to the scandal, as opposed to how men saw the scandal? Some men reacted surprisingly, not because of the immorality of what the man did, but because of his boldness and ability as a governmental official to get away with it - having all this "fun" with whores and hookers at the taxpayers expense.  Those who reacted angrily in fact seemed a bit jealous, others morally indignate despising such a man who in a public office would betray the people's trust. If you're a man, do you have sympathy for Gov. Spitzer using a prostitute? I have no sympathy for any man using prostitute, especially if he is a married man and paying for his prostitutes with taxpayers' dollars. Paul F Davis - author of United States of Arrogance www.PaulFDavis.com Orlando, FL 407-284-1705

Hi Brian,

Men must face their fears and empty every skeleton from the closet. What you fearfully deny and run from will only follow you to resurface in future relationships. Men also need to process their pain and deal with their unfinished business to prevent it from sabotaging meaningful relationships.

Men are less apt than women to read books, but men are more inclined to read than to seek a sympathetic ear and a professional for counseling. Divorce however is a sufficient blow to the male ego after which many men dive into innumerable books in an effort to do a crash course and learn all they can about properly relating to women.

Most importantly relating to ourselves as men is first and foremost. Our identity ultimately determines our destiny. Men need to update their identity as much as they do their resume.

In so doing they can transcend tragedy and triumph magnicently as they move forth into their future.

Pain alone is a sufficient motivator to prompt men to read relational books.

Paul F. Davis - relational expert and author of several books including Breakthrough For A Broken Heart and Are You Ready For True Love?

Paul & Karla's latest book Almighty Matchmaker - Don't Be Single & Sad or Married & Mad is getting great reviews!

www.PaulFDavis.com

Orlando, FL

Moreover feeding your faith enables you to transition more smoothly and carry less relational baggage into new relationships, as you learn to forgive, live, and leave the past behind.

 

     - Talking to your Creator

     - Personal meditation and reflection 

     - Reading your Bible

     - Attending chuch and faith based services with other believers 

     - Joining a small group wherein you can find spiritual friends, transparency, and  

           accountability.

     - Journaling your thoughts, insights, and attitudes throughout the day.

     - Listening for the voice of God and divine direction via dreams, visions, and other 

        supernatural stimuli and circumstantial situations.

    

 

- Renewing your mind and thoughts.

- Ridding your heart of bitterness, anger, and impurity.

- Guarding your heart against presumption, prejudices, and stereotypes.

- Believing and desiring the best in & for everybody.

- Graciously allowing for personal growth in your own life and in the lives of others.

- Cleaning up your speech, realizing it simply reveals what is in your heart.

- Being patient with yourself and others as life is a learning process.

- Committing to be a lifelong learner.  

 

 

Don't feel obligated to share your dirty laundry with everybody, neither seek to justify your decision to divorce. Just let it be and grow inwardly rather than repeatedly rehearse your history.

 

Forget the past and embrace your future!

 

 

Paul F. Davis - relational coach and author of ADULTERY: 101 REASONS NOT TO CHEAT;

 BREAKTHROUGH FOR A BROKEN HEART; and ARE YOU READY FOR TRUE LOVE?

 

RevivingNations@gmail.com

www.PaulFDavis.com

Orlando, FL